The Actor's Guide to subtext in communication: what are people really saying?

‘That’s an interesting idea.’

Four words. Perfectly polite. And, depending on who says them and how, they can mean

almost anything.

I love it.

I hadn’t thought of that.

Please stop talking.

This will never happen while I’m in charge.

Most of what matters in a conversation isn’t in the words at all. It sits underneath them.

Actors have a name for this.

Subtext.

And learning to read it (and to notice your own) is one of the most useful communication skills you can develop.

What is subtext?

In acting, subtext is everything a character thinks, feels or wants, but doesn’t say out loud.

Chekhov was an absolute master of it. His characters talk about the weather, the samovar, the price of timber; meanwhile, their lives are quietly falling apart. If the production is a good one, the audience understands perfectly well what’s going on. Nobody on stage ever spells it out.

Harold Pinter took it further still. A pause in a Pinter play can carry more threat than a page of dialogue.

When actors prepare a scene, a lot of the work is uncovering what lies beneath each line: What am I really saying here? What am I not saying? What am I trying very hard to hide?

Because audiences don’t just listen to the words, even in a radio play. They interpret the gap between what is said and what is meant.

That gap is where the drama lives.

It’s also where most workplace communication goes wrong.

Subtext at work

Offices are full of subtext. Partly because we’re polite. Partly because we’re careful. And partly because saying exactly what we think can feel risky when salaries and reputations are involved.

So we develop a kind of code:

‘Let’s take this offline’ may mean not in front of everyone.

‘Happy to discuss’ may mean I disagree, but I’m not going to say so here.

‘Just checking in’ may mean this is late and I’m getting nervous.

‘I’m fine with whatever the team decides’ may mean I’m not fine at all.

None of this is necessarily dishonest. Subtext is often a way of being kind, diplomatic or tactful.

The problem is that it’s ambiguous. And when people read it differently, decisions get made on false assumptions. Concerns go unaddressed.

Someone leaves a meeting believing they have agreement, when they actually have polite resistance.

How to read between the lines

Actors learn to read subtext by noticing when something doesn’t quite fit.

The words say one thing; the body, the voice or the timing says another.

In a meeting, you might notice:

•      A ‘yes’ that arrives a fraction too late

•      Enthusiastic words delivered in a flat voice

•      Someone apparently agreeing before frowning, leaning back, and folding their arms

•      A sudden change of subject

•      Unusual brevity from someone who normally has plenty to say

•      A joke that has a slight edge to it

On their own, none of these proves anything. As I've said innumerable times, people often fold their arms because they’re cold. Meeting rooms are often freezing.

But when the body language and the words start telling different stories, it’s usually worth paying attention.

The important thing is not to leap to conclusions. Reading subtext isn’t a form of mind-reading. It’s simply noticing that there may be more going on, and getting curious about it.

What is your own subtext saying?

Here’s the less comfortable part.

You have subtext too. And other people are reading it, whether you intend them to or not.

A leader announces a restructure and says ‘this is a really exciting opportunity.’ But they’re reading from notes, avoiding eye contact and speaking slightly faster than usual. The team doesn’t hear excitement. It hears anxiety.

A manager says ‘my door is always open’ while glancing at their phone. The real message lands loud and clear.

When our words and our subtext contradict each other, people almost always believe the subtext.

This is why actors work so hard on what lies beneath a line before they worry about how to deliver it. If the inner life is right, the outer expression tends to follow. If it isn’t, no amount of polish will fully convince an audience.

The same applies to executive presence. Authority and credibility come less from the words you choose, and more from whether what’s underneath them matches.

When to bring subtext to the surface

On stage, subtext usually stays hidden. That’s the point. At work, it’s often more useful to bring it gently into the open.

This doesn’t mean confronting people or announcing ‘I can tell you’re unhappy.’ That rarely goes well.

It means making it safe for the unspoken thing to be spoken:

‘I’m sensing some hesitation. What would make this work better for you?’

‘You’ve gone quiet. I’d really value your view.’

‘What’s the concern we haven’t talked about yet?’

Notice that these are invitations, not accusations. They leave the other person free to say ‘no, I’m fine’, and many will, at first. But you’ve signalled that honesty is welcome.

The best leaders I work with do this instinctively. They don’t just respond to what people say. They respond to what people mean.

Try this in your next meeting

Actors sometimes rehearse by saying their subtext out loud, then playing the scene again with only the scripted words. It’s remarkable how much of the hidden meaning survives.

You can try a quieter version of this.

Before an important conversation, ask yourself:

•      What do I actually think about this?

•      What am I tempted not to say?

•      Is there anything I’m feeling that might leak out anyway?

And during the conversation, listen on two levels: to the words, and to what’s underneath them.

When something doesn’t quite add up, don’t ignore it. Get curious.

A final thought

We tend to think of communication as the exchange of words.

Actors know it’s far richer than that. The words are only the surface of the scene.

Great communicators, on stage and in business, pay attention to both levels at once. They read between the lines. And they make sure their own subtext is telling the same story as their script.

So next time someone tells you ‘that’s an interesting idea’, it might be worth asking yourself: what are they really saying?

(This article is part of my 'Actor's Guide' series, exploring what the performing arts can teach us about communication, confidence, influence and leadership)

I work with a small number of leaders and professionals each year, through tailored, one-to-one communication coaching.

I help them develop greater confidence, executive presence and influence, in the moments that matter most. I am trusted as a coach by many individuals in organisations including Abbott, BBC Studios and the NHS.

As well as my professional acting background, I have also trained to practitioner level in nonverbal communication with former FBI agent Joe Navarro, so I pay close attention to what people communicate beyond their words.

I’d be pleased to offer an initial conversation to see how I can support you.

Get in touch to book a complimentary, half hour discovery call.