The Actor’s Guide to intention: what do you actually want from this conversation?

You’ve probably sat through this meeting.

Someone has prepared thoroughly. The slides are immaculate. The data is sound. They speak clearly and for exactly the right amount of time.

And at the end, nobody is quite sure what they were supposed to do with any of it.

Nothing was wrong, exactly. But nothing really happened either.

In my experience, this is rarely a problem of content or delivery. It’s a problem of intention.

The speaker knew what they wanted to say.

However, they hadn’t decided what they wanted to achieve.

Actors start with one question

Before an actor worries about how to say a line, they ask a simpler question:

What does my character want?

Not what are they saying. What do they want.

Stanislavski called this the objective. Other teachers call it the action, the intention or the need. The name matters less than the principle: every scene is driven by somebody trying to get something from somebody else.

A character might want to be forgiven. To be noticed. To get rid of an unwelcome guest. To persuade a friend not to leave.

The words on the page are simply the tools they use to get it.

Without that want, even beautifully spoken lines feel strangely hollow. The audience can’t quite put their finger on why. They just stop leaning in.

Information isn’t intention

At work, we tend to prepare the words and leave the want to chance.

We ask ourselves: what do I need to cover?

We rarely ask: what do I need these people to think, feel or do by the end?

The first question produces an update. The second produces a conversation with a purpose.

Consider the difference between these two aims for the same quarterly review:

I want to present the Q3 numbers.

I want the board to release funding for the second phase.

Same data. Same slides, perhaps. But a completely different meeting.

In the second version, you know which figure matters most, where to pause, which question to invite and when you’ve finished.

Make it an active verb

In rehearsal, directors push actors away from vague intentions. I want to be happy is hard to play. I want to make her laugh is easier.

The trick is to choose a verb you can do to another person.

To reassure. To challenge. To enlist. To unsettle. To win over. To calm down.

These are things you can actually aim at someone. And crucially, you can tell whether they’re working.

Compare this with the intentions many of us bring to work:

To get through it.

To not look foolish.

To share some thoughts.

The first two are about protecting ourselves. The third is so gentle it barely exists. None of them points at the other people in the room.

Intention changes how you sound

Here’s the part that surprises people.

When an actor is clear about what they want, a great deal of the ‘technique’ will take care of itself.

The voice finds its own emphasis. The pauses land in the right places. The body settles.

Eye contact stops being something you remember to do and becomes something you need, because you’re checking whether it’s working.

I see the same thing in coaching. A client might be working hard on pace, gesture and projection, with limited success. Then we spend five minutes clarifying what they actually want from their audience, and they deliver the same material with noticeably more energy, focus and warmth.

Nothing about their technique changed.

Their reason for speaking did.

When you hit an obstacle, change the tactic, not the intention

In drama, the character rarely gets what they want straight away. That’s what makes it interesting.

So good actors will keep the intention fixed and change the tactic. If charm doesn’t work, they try reason. If reason doesn’t work, they try urgency. If urgency fails, they might try silence.

Meetings are much the same.

The board isn’t convinced. The client pushes back. A colleague looks unmoved.

The temptation is either to abandon the intention entirely (well, it was just an idea) or to repeat the same approach, only louder.

Actors would do neither.

They would stay with the want and look for another way in. A question instead of a statement. A story instead of a statistic. A pause instead of another slide.

Persistence isn’t saying the same thing again. It’s staying committed to the outcome while remaining flexible about how you reach it.

Try this before your next important conversation

Before you open your laptop or rehearse a single word, finish this sentence:

By the end of this conversation, I want [these people] to [do / decide / feel] ______.

Then choose one active verb for how you’ll go about it. To reassure. To challenge. To enlist.

Write it at the top of your note (not on the slide by the way, this one is just for you).

If you can’t complete the sentence, that’s useful information too. It may mean the meeting doesn’t need to happen. Or that it could be an emai instead. (Many meetings could.)

And during the conversation, keep half an eye on the question actors are constantly asking themselves: Is it working?

A final thought

We often judge communicators by how they sound: fluent, polished or confident.

But audiences respond to something underneath all of that. They can sense whether a speaker genuinely wants something from them, or is simply getting through the agenda.

Actors know that a line with no intention behind it is just noise, however well it’s delivered.

So before your next important meeting, set aside the question of what you’re going to say, and ask the one that comes first:

What do I actually want?

(This article is part of my 'Actor's Guide' series, exploring what the performing arts can teach us about communication, confidence, influence and leadership)

I work with a small number of leaders and professionals each year, through tailored, one-to-one communication coaching.

I help them develop greater confidence, executive presence and influence, in the moments that matter most. I am trusted as a coach by many individuals in organisations including Abbott, BBC Studios and the NHS.

I’d be pleased to offer an initial conversation to see how I can support you.

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