How to improve your public speaking: stop performing and start paying attention

The moment someone is asked to speak in public, they often become intensely aware of themselves.

What should I do with my hands? Am I speaking too quickly? Do I look nervous? Can everyone hear the tremor in my voice? What happens if I forget what comes next?

These concerns are entirely understandable. But together, they create a problem: the speaker is paying attention to the one person in the room who should not be their primary focus.

The more closely we monitor ourselves, the harder it becomes to connect with anyone else.

The trap of performing confidence

People often assume that improving their public speaking means learning how to appear more confident. They try to stand in a particular way, eliminate every hesitation and deliver their words with polished authority.

Some technique is certainly useful. How we use our voice, body and pace affects how an audience receives us. But when we become preoccupied with demonstrating confidence, public speaking can start to feel like a performance of a person we are trying to be.

That creates pressure. We are no longer simply communicating an idea; we are simultaneously judging how successfully we appear to be communicating it.

Ironically, this self-monitoring can produce many of the behaviours we are trying to avoid. We rush. We become rigid. We lose our train of thought. We cling to a script because the precise wording begins to feel like a safety rail.

Confidence becomes easier when we stop trying quite so hard to display it.

Move your attention outwards

Good public speaking is not really about concentrating on yourself. It is about directing your attention towards your audience and your purpose.

What do these people need to understand? Where might they need more clarity? Are they still with me? What do I want them to think, feel or do as a result of hearing this?

These questions move attention away from self-consciousness and towards communication.

Actors understand this distinction. Effective acting does not come from trying to look convincing. It comes from placing attention on the other person, pursuing an intention and responding truthfully to what is happening. The same principle applies when presenting.

An audience rarely needs a flawless performance. It needs to feel that the speaker is present, understands the subject and genuinely wants to communicate something.

That is why a momentary pause, a slight stumble or a change of wording does not necessarily weaken a presentation. Sometimes it makes the speaker more credible. We are watching a person think and communicate, rather than recite.

Public speaking is a relationship

Even when only one person is talking, public speaking is still a relationship.

The audience is constantly giving information through its attention, expressions and energy. A speaker who is locked inside a memorised delivery may miss all of it. A speaker whose attention remains flexible can notice when something has landed, when the room needs more time or when an explanation needs simplifying.

This does not mean reacting anxiously to every expression. Someone looking serious may be concentrating rather than disapproving. It means allowing yourself to remain in contact with the room instead of retreating into your own internal commentary.

Before you begin, take a moment to settle. Feel your feet on the floor, release your breath and look at the people in front of you. Then remind yourself of the idea you want them to leave with.

Not: How can I impress them?

Rather: What can I give them?

That small shift can change the entire experience. It replaces performance with purpose and self-consciousness with attention.

If you want to improve your public speaking, preparation still matters. Structure matters. Practice matters. But your aim is not to become a perfectly controlled version of yourself.

It is to become more available: to your message, to the moment and to the people listening.

The most compelling speaker is rarely the person working hardest to look confident.

It is the person paying enough attention to make the audience know that they matter.

For over three decades I've worked with senior leaders to strengthen their public speaking, and presentation skills, providing individual coaching for executives for global organisations such as Abbott, several public sector bodies including civil servants such as SpAds (Special Advisors to Government), as well as keynote speakers at the prestigious Edinburgh TV Festival.. In addition, I have designed and delivered long-running public speaking courses for teams at BBC Studios, Channel 4, UHI and many more.

f public speaking is something you’ve been avoiding, or simply something you want to improve or feel differently about, I’d be glad to have a conversation about it.

Book your free discovery call → here with no obligation