The difference between good English and effective communication

I recently read an interesting blog post defending the word like.

The author’s argument was persuasive. Linguists have long pointed out that words such as like aren’t simply signs of lazy speech. They can soften statements, signal approximation, introduce quotations and even give us a moment to think. In many conversations, they perform a useful role.

I found myself agreeing with much of it.

But it also reminded me of an important distinction that often gets overlooked.

As a communication coach, I’m not primarily concerned with whether a phrase is 'correct' English. I’m interested in something different: whether it helps someone achieve their objective.

Those aren’t always the same thing.

Language versus communication

Linguistics seeks to understand how people actually use language. It describes rather than judges.

Communication coaching is more pragmatic.

Imagine you’re presenting to a board, pitching to investors, speaking to the media or leading a difficult conversation. Your audience isn’t conducting a linguistic analysis. They’re making rapid judgements about confidence, credibility and authority - sometimes even before you’ve reached your second sentence.

Whether we think those judgements are fair is beside the point. Those judgements happen.

It’s not about perfection

This is where communication coaching is sometimes misunderstood. People occasionally imagine I spend my days correcting grammar or banning words.

I don’t.

In fact, many so-called communication 'rules' deserve to be challenged.

The goal isn’t to sound polished for the sake of it. It’s to become aware of the habits that either strengthen or dilute your message.

Take the word like. Used intentionally, it can make us sound conversational, approachable or precise.

Used unconsciously every few seconds, it may distract from the very point we’re trying to make and mitigate our authority.

The same could be said of phrases such as sort of, kind of, I think, you know or basically. None of them are inherently wrong. Yet repeated automatically, they can weaken otherwise excellent communication.

The issue isn’t the words themselves.

It’s whether they’re serving your message, or simply serving a habit.

The reality of executive presence

One of the most uncomfortable truths about communication is that perception matters.

I’ve coached exceptionally intelligent engineers, clinicians, academics and senior leaders whose expertise was never in doubt. Yet some struggled to influence others because unconscious communication habits distracted from their ideas.

The answer wasn’t to change who they were.

It was to give them more choice.

Once they became aware of their habits, they could decide when to sound conversational, when to sound authoritative and when to adapt to their audience.

That’s a very different goal from trying to sound 'perfect'.

Awareness creates space for choice

Actors learn this early.

Every pause, gesture and emphasis can be deliberate. Not because natural behaviour is wrong, but because awareness creates freedom.

The same applies in business.

When your communication becomes intentional rather than automatic, you gain options. You stop relying on default habits and start making conscious choices about how you want to be understood.

For me, that’s what communication coaching is really about.

Not teaching 'proper English', whatever that means.

Not eliminating every filler word.

Not turning people into polished robots.

Simply helping them become aware enough that every communication choice becomes exactly that: a choice.

If you’re looking to refine your communicate skills feel free to get in touch to book a relaxed, focused discovery call.

I’ve worked with senior leaders, including CEOs, Diplomats, Public Figures, Special Advisors and Consultants in the public and private sector and across many industries.

My approach combines actor training, leadership experience and behavioural science to develop clarity, presence and authority when it matters most.