How to stop dreading public speaking (and what actually helps)

Most advice about public speaking tells you to breathe deeply, picture the audience naked or in their underwear, or simply ‘be yourself.’ If any of that has worked for you, that’s wonderful. Genuinely.

For most people I speak to, it hasn’t.

So let me share what I think actually makes a difference.

First, the dread is normal

Not just common; almost universal.

Some of the most compelling communicators I’ve worked with still feel it. The goal isn’t to eliminate the dread. It’s to manage it and stop letting it run the show.

That distinction matters more than people realise. A lot of the suffering around public speaking comes not from the speaking itself, but from the relationship with the anticipation of it. The weeks of low-level dread. The catastrophising. The internal rehearsal of everything that could go wrong.

That’s often where the real work is.

Technique alone rarely solves it

There’s no shortage of tips. Slow down. Make eye contact. Pause for effect. These things have their place, absolutely. I’ve recommended them myself. But if you’re genuinely anxious, techniques often sit on top of the anxiety rather than addressing it. You can know exactly what you’re supposed to do and still freeze.

What tends to help more is understanding what’s actually happening to you when pressure rises. How your thinking changes. What you’re telling yourself in the moments before you speak. Where your attention goes; and what happens when it goes there. You need to use your high arousal state to improve your performance, rather than impair it.

And once you see the pattern clearly, you can start to interrupt it. Not by forcing yourself to feel confident, but by gradually building something more grounded and useful.

Preparation helps, but not the way most people use it

Over-preparing a script is one of the most common mistakes I see. It feels like control, but it actually creates fragility. The moment something unexpected happens - a question you didn’t anticipate, a technical glitch, a dropped line, a thought that doesn’t come - the whole thing can unravel in seconds.

What actually builds solid confidence is practising in conditions that are slightly uncomfortable: speaking before you feel fully ready; getting used to imperfection; becoming comfortable with your idiosyncrasies; and learning that you can lose your place, or stumble, recover, and that the audience barely notices.

That kind of practise is harder than rehearsing alone in a quiet room. Absolutely it’s harder.

But it’s also disproportionately more useful.

Who this applies to

Honestly, most people.

I work with executives who present to boards, professionals who dread team meetings, and individuals preparing for a single high-stakes moment they’ve been anxious about for months.

The specifics vary. The underlying pattern however is often surprisingly similar.

What actually helps, in short

Not a magic formula, but a clearer understanding of what’s driving the dread, some structured practise in realistic conditions, and - over time - a different relationship with the experience of speaking itself.

It’s quieter progress than most people expect.

And it's much more durable.

If public speaking is something you’ve been avoiding, or simply something you want to feel differently about, I’d be glad to have a conversation about it.

I work with senior leaders to strengthen their public speaking, presentation and communication skills, providing individual coaching for executives at organisations such as Abbott, speakers at the Edinburgh TV Festival and the NHS.. In addition, I have designed and delivered successful communication and public speaking courses for groups at BBC Studios, Channel 4, UHI and many more.

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